More Me Less You

I’m Having Some Feelings About My Feelings.

I’m having some feelings about my feelings – about the way women have been mistreated and continue to be mistreated.  About how I can’t go on Twitter or Instagram without reading women’s stories and their pleas for equality, fairness, and to be treated with decency and respect.

I have dozens of personal stories of sexual mistreatment that I can share with all of you – but what I want to say is that even though my journey is peppered with rape, sexism and sexual misconduct it’s each and every time I read another woman’s story that I feel the weight of it all.  Other women’s stories weigh on me so heavily it’s almost like they are my own.  There is this burden of never knowing how to fix this mess between men and women.  It makes me feel small, incapable of making a difference.  Leaving me with an abundance of heavy feelings; hopelessness, helplessness, sadness.

Why do I feel that way?  Because if you haven’t noticed by now the media has their routine down pat – a song and dance – frenzied distraction to make a social issue that has existed for centuries over sensationalized.  We watch as women rise alone one-by-one and share their stories.  Spectators applaud their bravery, the women hold hands and stand together tall like mighty Red Creek Firs.  These women are put up on a premeditated pedestal of pride, where they share their stories with trembling voices, become heroes – pillars within what they hope to be a powerful feminist movement and then…nothing.

The OJ Simpson’s, Jian Ghomeshi’s, Bill Cosby’s, Harvey Weinstein’s, Donald Trumps of the world get away with their charges.  Injustice is served, the guilty heinous beasts roam free, back into our broken society, shielded by laws and procedures that do not protect women or victims of sex crimes.

We can sit here and say let’s raise our boys to be better men but what about the ones still out there?  What about the ones who keep getting away with it?  Who is going to stop them?  What about the women who still suffer? Who is going to protect us?  Who is going to protect me?  I want to believe this planet can be better in my lifetime.  I want to be able to tell the non-believers “I told you so” – “humanity is saved” – “We have restored all faith and the future is bright”.  I want it SO badly – don’t you?

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